Wednesday, November 10, 2010
We've made it one month. Me, Baby J, Gus, and Carl Rove are one big happy sleep deprived (or exercise deprived in Carl's case) family. I feel like I'm always needing to make the statement that I really love Baby J - mostly because I feel guilty that I don't really love waking up in the middle of the night and pumping or nursing. I have a feeling that I definitely won't miss that, when and if it ever passes. Gus told me this evening that he will miss having to stay up with her all night ... which again sent me sailing towards the edge of sanity because it makes me feel guilty. Like am I bad mom because I know I won't miss those things? Gus also holds the baby all.the.time. I love to hold and cuddle with the baby, but sometimes I need to do laundry, feed myself, do the dishes, etc. Gus will just sit on the couch all.day.long. watching television and holding the baby. It gives me a chance to get some stuff around the house done, but it again makes me feel guilty that I don't want to sit still all day long holding the little one. Gus and I are just different. I'm still working on accepting that simply because I don't hold her all the time like Gus is not an indication that I'm a bad parent. I mean, she needs clean clothes too, right?