Wednesday, June 30, 2010

moving forward

After being an what seemed like a never ending holding pattern, it finally seems like things are moving forward. Last weekend, after two trips from Minneapolis in the 16' Budget moving truck, we got ALL our stuff to Duluth. This required stops at our Minneapolis storage unit and at Andy's house to get EVERYTHING. I feel good about that. Gus has spent the last three days in Minneapolis finishing cleaning the apartment and packing the last few boxes that will hopefully fit in his vehicle. Apartment inspection is tonight at 6:30 and then he's headed to Duluth, permanently! We are living with my cousin for the interim and are scheduled to close on a house on July 29. Then the extreme home makeover can begin ... provided we have some extra cash. At the very least, the baby's room needs to be ready!

Monday, June 28, 2010


We spent our weekend moving from Minneapolis to Duluth. Saturday we had some help, but Sunday Husband did an entire load by himself. He did an awesome job. Despite being pregnant and not having to move much, I'm still exhausted from driving back and forth from Minneapolis to Duluth and just the sheer anxiety of hoping everything goes smoothly. Carl Rove had a tough day for the Saturday move ... all day in a car and a minor incident of having his tail stuck in the car door. Sunday wasn't much better because he spent 9 hours in his puppy jail aka "crate." But he got to run out at Jenn's dog park aka "her yard" on Sunday night and burn off a little energy. So it was a busy, exhausting, not super fun weekend but it's DONE. If all goes as planned, we'll be closing on our new little house on July 29 and then the moving process will start all over again!

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

dear juliet

Dear Juliet Jean Se Ri,

First, let me apologize for giving you so many names. I also have two middle names, but I had a choice where you do not. Hopefully, you can live with it. I'm going to be completely honest with you, I don't love being pregnant nor do I feel a real connection to you yet - even though I think I'm starting to feel connected over the past couple days. Luckily, your Uppa (Daddy) already loves you and talks to you when he sees my tummy. Don't get me wrong, I want to have a baby. Although, perhaps it would be nice to not have the baby inside my uterus squishing all my other organs and making it difficult to eat, sleep, and breathe, all activities necessary for me to live an ordinary life. But I digress ...

Just today while driving to rent a storage unit so that Uppa and I can actually live together, I had this realization that I'm excited to be a mom. I'm excited and beyond nervous. I had the best mom that any person could ask for - the absolute best. I get teary eyed just thinking about how wonderful she was and I'm sad that she won't get to meet you because she would absolutely LOVE LOVE LOVE you. I want to be the kind of mom that your grandma was to me and I promise you that I will try to be the kind of mom that will make you want to tell people that you had the best mom that any person could ever ask for.

To start with, Uppa and I are really close to finding a place for you to begin your little life. It is overwhelmingly, offensively ugly and I'm sorry about that. Hopefully, by the time you develop some aesthetic taste it will have been remedied. I do promise that you will have your very own nursery. It's going to be the first room Uppa will tackle once we get into the house. See how unselfish I'm being? I'm going to live with the ugly Brady Bunch wood paneling so that you, my little one, can have a super cute nursery. I promise that it will be super cute even if it means I have to have a breakdown and cry so that Uppa will paint it to my (and your) specifications.

I think the idea of us finally having a house has really made all of this more real for me. I want you to have a safe and not offensively ugly place to grow up at least for the next ten years until I can pay of some of these damn student loans and we can afford a little more house. However, you will be happy to know that we will not be house poor - I know you don't know what that means, but trust me it sucks - and perhaps that means Daddy will let us buy more shoes or go on vacation! Your Grandma and Grandpa Berglund live in St. Lucia, which is in the Caribbean and it is warm and gorgeous. So maybe we can go visit them when you get a bit older.

Daddy's parents will be called by their Korean titles, which according to WikiAnswers is:

Grandma= Halmoni (hal-muh-nee) Grandpa= Halapoji (hal-ah-puh-jee)

Now, I do not condone getting information from WikiAnswers, especially while growing up. But as I've told your cousins, Avi and Lilly, when you are 30 and older, you can do things like this because you realize that WikiAnswers is not necessarily the best place to get information from, but it is acceptable as long as you realize that there is probably a certain margin of error in their information.

Back to your Halmoni and Halapoji, they will teach you Korean (your dad will too) and will probably only speak to you in Korean. You will have an advantage over your Umma (Mommy) because I can't speak Korean and sometimes do not know what Halmoni is saying. Halapoji doesn't talk to me much anyway, but he is a very nice man and they will both adore you. I promise. You are their first grandchild and they are very excited about you.

I am looking forward to seeing what you look like because Korean babies are so cute. I'm sure you will be adorable. When Uppa sees our reflection in the mirror, he always says that we will have adorable babies. I think he is hoping that you look like me and for the sake of my lady parts I'm hoping your head isn't as big as his. I can't wait to read to you and already have several books picked out for you, including this one and this one. Uppa said that you wouldn't be my child if you didn't like sushi! Umma still sleeps with her baby blanket so I am going to be very discriminating in picking one out for you because perhaps you will have it for 30 years or more like me.

It's OK if you end up not loving fashion and shoes as much as me. However, until you are able to exercise free will over your apparel, I'm going to make sure you look adorable and have super cute dresses and such. Uppa says we can only shop at Target for your clothes, but I'm sure we can sneak some other things into your wardrobe. When Uppa asks if it is new, you just tell him that you've had it for a long time, you just haven't worn it.

I hope you are enjoying your stay in Umma's tummy because it's only going to last a few more months and then it's ready for you to make your debut. Then you will get to meet Carl Rove. He's your brother, although Uppa doesn't like when I call him that because he is a puppy. He's the sweetest puppy and you two will be good friends I think. He likes to play fetch and cuddle. He might be too rammy for you at first, because like you, he's just a baby. Umma really loves Carl Rove so she's pretty sure she will love you too.

Anxiously awaiting you,

Monday, June 21, 2010

everything happens for a reason

When I got laid off in April 2009, I was pretty devastated. The firm could not afford to pay my salary any longer and they laid off me, the most junior associate, one senior associate, and two secretaries. Shortly thereafter, L, a senior associate and friend of mine, left because she found a new job. L and I had breakfast yesterday and I learned that the firm has recently hired a new junior associate. So just a little over a year after they couldn't afford to pay me, they have replaced me. I tried to think whether I would have wanted that old job back and I can honestly say that I would not have wanted to work there again. Don't get me wrong. It was a fantastic place to work, but while my life right now is stressful with new job, moving, baby, etc., I am pretty happy with the position we are in. While not getting laid off would have prevented pools of tears and mountains of stress, I don't think we would have been entertaining the though of purchasing our first home together either.  That's right! Our home inspection is tomorrow and if all goes well, we will close at the end of July. Carl Rove will have a fenced in backyard to romp in and Juliet will have a nursery waiting for her when she comes home. 2009 was a challenge for us, but suddenly I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. When they say that everything happens for a reason, I think people are right. Unfortunately, when it happens you don't realize the reason and you can't even begin to fathom that everything will turn out well. But, it does. I promise.

Monday, June 14, 2010


So it *looks* like there is a taker on the loft. I hate to put it out there in case it falls through, but I'm feeling pretty optimistic about it. Background check cleared and are waiting for landlord to sign a lease with new tenant. We are tentatively moving out June 26 with a final inspection on June 27.

This weekend between late night at Barbette, stroller shopping (more on that later), and birthday drinks for a friend at Bar Lurcat (water for me, yay!), I managed to pack up most of my dresser, 1/2 my closet, and 1/2 my shoes so Husband doesn't have to do those things for me during the week. I managed to try on most of my clothes to see what I can continue to wear with a growing belly and what needs to be packed away with a label such as ... "Pre-pregnancy jeans that my hips may NEVER fit into EVER again." This was an EXHAUSTING venture, but I'm glad I did it. Having less and less to wear makes it much easier to decide on an outfit every morning. However, I am feeling pretty good about the size of my maternity (or non-maternity but fits me while pregnant) wardrobe.

Getting out from under this lease is a step in the right direction except Husband will be left homeless in Minneapolis for the time being. I'm hoping that he can lean on friends or perhaps my family and live somewhere for free so that we aren't throwing more money at rent, but I know he's reluctant to ask favors of anyone. I'm the same way, so while I understand I'm hoping that our situation is tight enough that he will swallow some pride and ask for help.

Thursday, June 10, 2010


I've been feeling overwhelmed lately - to the point where I can't talk to anyone even Husband. Last night I didn't even talk to him on the phone because I'm feeling so overwhelmed and stressed with everything that is happening with life that I can barely talk to anyone about anything. I really hope that this decision to relocate was a good decision. Right now, it doesn't really feel like such a good decision. We've got a baby coming in a few months, Husband doesn't have a job here (nor are we even living together), I'm making less money than I was previously, and we have nowhere to live. When it rains, it pours.

Monday, June 7, 2010

timing is everything

First, let me say that we are truly blessed. While I feel like I'm drowning in the sea of circumstances that has become my life, we are much luckier than some and have opportunities that others do not or may never have. However, I've still been feeling a little stressed finding the right house for our budget so that we get the most bang for our buck. After feeling a bit disappointed about not getting as much financing as we thought we might, I have done a complete 180 and now all I want is a cheap house in a safe neighborhood that will fit our little family. Getting the best deal (on anything, really) requires loads of research and lots of patience - the latter which I possess very little of. I *think* we are making an offer on a house soon. In fact, Gus said he was calling the real estate agent today, but since I don't talk to him all day long, I guess I will have to wait until this evening to see if he really did it.

We *might* have a taker on the loft too. Someone submitted an application, which includes a $40 fee, so I assume they are serious about the place. I am not so patiently waiting to hear about the background check and whether or not they are suitable tenants. Gus has probably already heard and unfortunately, I have to wait until I talk to him. I wish he was a better communicator of news, but that's a whole other can of worms. Our next few weeks may be packing and moving to who knows where. Then Gus needs to find an interim place to live until his contract runs out at his current position. Everything is so up in the air! I was pretty stressed out about it all on Sunday morning. I feel like I'm living in the in-between.

I did do one good thing today though. I had signed up for the once a week childbirth class, which would have required Gus to drive up to Duluth once a week. Today, I canceled that class and signed up for the one-day 9 hour class. It's a lot of information to fit into one Saturday but it will save us loads of gas money and while I was looking forward to seeing my husband once a week, I decided to do the unselfish thing and save us some money and save Gus some driving time. So I feel pretty good about that because I think it will make him happy.

Friday, June 4, 2010

no pants

The other day I made a proclamation that I was going to go pants-less for the rest of this pregnancy. It came about because the maternity pants are all still too big and this baby girl is more than halfway done in there! First I was having a problem holding the pants up and I solved that with a Bella band. Then the legs and butt were getting all stretched out, making me look like a bag lady. I did shell out some dough for a really nice pair of black maternity pants from Hot Mama. They came in XS and are pretty fitted. I love them, but now that it is finally nice out I'm wishing I had them in capris. Since I didn't want to spend another $60 on maternity pants, I thought I'd try Motherhood (again) and Kohl's. In both places the S was still too big! I so wish these places made XS. I did try on a pair of regular sized black capris at Kohl's and needed a size 10. I simply could not bring myself to buy a size 10 so I saved my money and went home.

Luckily, my friend Tammy came to my rescue. I stopped by her house last night and not only did she give me two garbage bags of maternity clothes, she also fed me dinner and I got to hang out with her adorable kids. She had a couple pairs of capris and several pairs of jeans. I need to get the jeans hemmed, since Tammy's has legs for days and I'm not quite so blessed. But, it looks like I might be able to wear pants again after all, which makes me happy because there are some cute maternity shirts out there. Although, I'm really trying NOT to buy anymore maternity clothes until I absolutely cannot fit into anything else I have and have to either buy new clothes or skip work because coming to work naked is likely prohibited.

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

one more!

Here's my baby bump! Do I look pregnant, finally?

happy memorial day

One day late ...

It's back to work, but we had a fantastic weekend. We played lots of Scrabble and cribbage and Carl ate lots of sticks, went swimming, and ran around the island. I think he had the best vacation out of any of us. It's so fun to see him exploring. I was surprised when he went to swimming just to swim and not to chase a stick or a ball. I was even more surprised when he just kept swimming farther and farther from shore. Had to call him back or he might have swam clear across the lake!

Haven't had a picture for awhile, so here you go.

Shoes: Steve Madden wedges. These are a sensible height. I wore those Cynthia Vincent for Target wedges a couple weeks ago and had a mishap in the parking lot. Not sensible or practical shoes. After some alcohol wipes, hydrogen peroxide, and lots of screaming, my wound was cleaned and now it's all healed up! But those shoes are kind of messed up.
Dress: J Crew. This is one of my absolute favorite dresses. It's navy (because I know you can't tell from this picture) and it is so comfortable. Plus it still fits my growing belly!
Cardigan: Gap
Necklace: Target. I've been wearing this necklace a lot lately because I didn't bring that many necklaces to Duluth and I haven't been back to Minnie for a couple weeks now. I asked Gus to bring me 19 pairs of shoes this past weekend and figured it was too much to ask him to dig through my necklaces too.

Enjoy your Tuesday!