Saturday, October 30, 2010

just a bit more whining

I'm going to bitch just a bit more ... or maybe A LOT more. The whole nursing thing is hard for me - perhaps more difficult mentally rather than physically although I'm feeling pretty physically exhausted and dehydrated as well, which hasn't helped my cankles much.

Baby J doesn't really like to eat all at once. She's more of a grazer like her Mommy. But it results in ultra long feeding sessions. I let her eat off both sides after which she usually falls asleep so I change her and then let her eat off both sides again. After her second feed, I try to get her to go back to sleep or settle down long enough for me to pump whatever might be left so I have a bit extra stored up just in case I am napping and Gus wants to feed her a bottle. It is A LOT of work.

In addition to it being A LOT of work, I don't enjoy nursing. I don't like pulling my boobs out. I don't like having my nips sucked on. I hate the leaking and dripping. I do want Baby J to get all the health benefits of breast milk, but I don't really seem to feel the closeness with her while nursing that some mothers describe. Don't get me wrong, I love to cuddle with Baby J - just not when there is breast milk dripping in places that I would prefer it wouldn't drip. I like my bonding time to be snuggled up under a blanket with Baby J.

I've been pumping and bottle feeding more and more these days. I'm getting to the point where I'd really like to be an exclusive pumper. The only thing I worry about is how it might affect my supply to not have Baby J doing the sucking. Based on the research I've done, there can be concerns with supply, if the mother only pumps. But, I've talked with other mothers who have exclusively pumped and never had a problem with supply. I'm hoping to move towards more pumping and less actual nursing.


  1. I'm so not an expert here but it's something I've thought of as well. Matt seemed surprised when I told him I'd consider just pumping all the time. But it seems so much more efficient and easy, and yet baby still gets the health benefits, like you mentioned.

  2. If it works... then do it. I couldn't stand pumping. I preferred to skip that middle step and just feed them directly. I only pumped a handful of times during each child. I never HAD to pump though. You will have no choice but to do it soon enough. If something is bringing you down... change it. You don't know if you'll produce enough until you try it. If it makes you happier, then you should make that transition. You really should ask for advice on the meetup board. You might find someone with your exact issues. You will find a variety of advice anyway, and take or leave it. Hang in there. Parenting is no walk in the park. Baby J loves you so much already... makes it all worth it.

  3. I felt the same way you do about breastfeeding at first. I hated whipping out my boob, the leaking, etc. Also, my baby had sucking problems so I had to use a fake nipple (that's not the right word for it, but I can't remember what it was called) for the first couple of months. Because he didn't get enough I ended up pumping too and more and more started just pumping exclusively and nursing him in the mornings when he'd wake up. I started to love the bonding time and cuddling with him in the morning (this was when he was about 3-4 months old) and finally thought I knew why some people seemed to love nursing so much. Unfortunately I never really did have a good supply and it went downhill when I started pumping (I think). I ended up supplementing with formula more and more and fully weaned him when he was about 7 months. At first I felt really guilty, etc, but really there is no reason to. He's healthy and got some breastmilk. I think you need to do what makes you happy. Baby J will be fine either way :)