Wednesday, June 23, 2010

dear juliet

Dear Juliet Jean Se Ri,

First, let me apologize for giving you so many names. I also have two middle names, but I had a choice where you do not. Hopefully, you can live with it. I'm going to be completely honest with you, I don't love being pregnant nor do I feel a real connection to you yet - even though I think I'm starting to feel connected over the past couple days. Luckily, your Uppa (Daddy) already loves you and talks to you when he sees my tummy. Don't get me wrong, I want to have a baby. Although, perhaps it would be nice to not have the baby inside my uterus squishing all my other organs and making it difficult to eat, sleep, and breathe, all activities necessary for me to live an ordinary life. But I digress ...

Just today while driving to rent a storage unit so that Uppa and I can actually live together, I had this realization that I'm excited to be a mom. I'm excited and beyond nervous. I had the best mom that any person could ask for - the absolute best. I get teary eyed just thinking about how wonderful she was and I'm sad that she won't get to meet you because she would absolutely LOVE LOVE LOVE you. I want to be the kind of mom that your grandma was to me and I promise you that I will try to be the kind of mom that will make you want to tell people that you had the best mom that any person could ever ask for.

To start with, Uppa and I are really close to finding a place for you to begin your little life. It is overwhelmingly, offensively ugly and I'm sorry about that. Hopefully, by the time you develop some aesthetic taste it will have been remedied. I do promise that you will have your very own nursery. It's going to be the first room Uppa will tackle once we get into the house. See how unselfish I'm being? I'm going to live with the ugly Brady Bunch wood paneling so that you, my little one, can have a super cute nursery. I promise that it will be super cute even if it means I have to have a breakdown and cry so that Uppa will paint it to my (and your) specifications.

I think the idea of us finally having a house has really made all of this more real for me. I want you to have a safe and not offensively ugly place to grow up at least for the next ten years until I can pay of some of these damn student loans and we can afford a little more house. However, you will be happy to know that we will not be house poor - I know you don't know what that means, but trust me it sucks - and perhaps that means Daddy will let us buy more shoes or go on vacation! Your Grandma and Grandpa Berglund live in St. Lucia, which is in the Caribbean and it is warm and gorgeous. So maybe we can go visit them when you get a bit older.

Daddy's parents will be called by their Korean titles, which according to WikiAnswers is:

Grandma= Halmoni (hal-muh-nee) Grandpa= Halapoji (hal-ah-puh-jee)

Now, I do not condone getting information from WikiAnswers, especially while growing up. But as I've told your cousins, Avi and Lilly, when you are 30 and older, you can do things like this because you realize that WikiAnswers is not necessarily the best place to get information from, but it is acceptable as long as you realize that there is probably a certain margin of error in their information.

Back to your Halmoni and Halapoji, they will teach you Korean (your dad will too) and will probably only speak to you in Korean. You will have an advantage over your Umma (Mommy) because I can't speak Korean and sometimes do not know what Halmoni is saying. Halapoji doesn't talk to me much anyway, but he is a very nice man and they will both adore you. I promise. You are their first grandchild and they are very excited about you.

I am looking forward to seeing what you look like because Korean babies are so cute. I'm sure you will be adorable. When Uppa sees our reflection in the mirror, he always says that we will have adorable babies. I think he is hoping that you look like me and for the sake of my lady parts I'm hoping your head isn't as big as his. I can't wait to read to you and already have several books picked out for you, including this one and this one. Uppa said that you wouldn't be my child if you didn't like sushi! Umma still sleeps with her baby blanket so I am going to be very discriminating in picking one out for you because perhaps you will have it for 30 years or more like me.

It's OK if you end up not loving fashion and shoes as much as me. However, until you are able to exercise free will over your apparel, I'm going to make sure you look adorable and have super cute dresses and such. Uppa says we can only shop at Target for your clothes, but I'm sure we can sneak some other things into your wardrobe. When Uppa asks if it is new, you just tell him that you've had it for a long time, you just haven't worn it.

I hope you are enjoying your stay in Umma's tummy because it's only going to last a few more months and then it's ready for you to make your debut. Then you will get to meet Carl Rove. He's your brother, although Uppa doesn't like when I call him that because he is a puppy. He's the sweetest puppy and you two will be good friends I think. He likes to play fetch and cuddle. He might be too rammy for you at first, because like you, he's just a baby. Umma really loves Carl Rove so she's pretty sure she will love you too.

Anxiously awaiting you,

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